Love these days have different forms it is no longer holds a comprehensive motive. It is associated with affection, lust, infatuation. We encounter this phrase, “Terms & Conditions Apply” almost daily, how often we do a black and white check for this? We don’t, we blindly believe what is written and accept it. But when it involves love, we set “terms and conditions” to it and make this healing force egotistical and self-centered. With love, we do a suitable black and white agreement overlooking the joy of living with inner peace.
Love is an incredibly powerful word. It is an unexplainable and powerful feeling for someone or something. A truly addictive feeling. Love has never been easy, oh! What has anyway been easy in life? Love is repeatedly acknowledged as conditional and unconditional love, and both are often confused.
Unconditional love surpasses time, place, behaviour, and worldly concerns. We don’t decide whom we love and why?
Throughout our lives, we are taught that a mother’s love is the greatest form of love. It is pure and unconditional and does not seek any gratification. It is known to love without any limitations and conditions. A love that has no confines and is unchanging. A love that is freely given no matter what. This love, given freely and without any limitations which are not covered with the false mask not too vulnerable to expose.
But limitations are always godsend to humans particularly with emotions as the saying goes “an overcooked meal is always useless.” Unconditional love is a positive feeling which can also get diverted into negative emotions called possessiveness. We try to employ control over our loved ones, and their emotions due to our insecurities. This often pushes us away from our loved one’s taking in charge of destroying relationships.
The symptoms of anger, jealousy, fear are all factors of possessive behaviour which is positively worshiped by society. There is inner conflict within the person which leads to outer disorder impairing the whole relationship. There are several signs of such behaviour that people tend to ignore at an early stage and realize the impact when the damage has already taken place.
• Fear of losing people without any motive
• Fear of getting rejected and overreacting with people around making it difficult for them to indulge
• Extreme shift of behaviour under any circumstances from anger to love to hate to again anger within seconds
• Potency to understand everyone, feel the pain trying to resolve issues which are nowhere related to our knowledge
• Impulsive behaviour, deciding without thinking of the consequences
It is not difficult to change oneself neither impossible to bring the change, little efforts towards healing your mind can bring well-being ensuring a joyful life and lifting relationships with people around. Unconditional love is more about acceptance, acceptance of self and others around us. It is an art that cannot be mastered in a day, it takes years and years of patience and practice. As human wants can never be satisfied, it is extremely difficult to unlock unconditional love because, even before we give something, we are always in the need to know what we are getting in return. We always invest in a relationship or friendship when the returns are high. Unconditional love becomes difficult when we often violate personal boundaries.
However, with unconditional love comes a soundless destroyer — abuse. A lot of times we are in this misconception of being loved unconditionally but fail to understand the level of abuse or hurt we go through. We must understand when we over or under deliver love and how it affects the receiver. People who unconditionally love you don’t just tell you, they show you. Unconditional love doesn’t mean allowing someone to repeatedly abuse you or harm you. If we do not let our significant others know how we feel or how do we need to be treated, we will never have a voice in the relationship. Thus, leading to control power, and substantial behaviour.
We hear, not to listen but to answer, for a change hear to listen, to understand. The world is suffering, and it needs “Unconditional Love.” Do you think you can impart some love and positivity around? Be the change.
Therapy can be very fruitful in your day-to-day life revamping your personal and professional life. Therapy pulls you into a safe and healthy relationship, skills that can be implemented for the betterment of life.
If you feel trapped in between conditional and unconditional love or would like to heal from an unpleasant occurrence of your life, please feel to reach out to me for a breakthrough session.
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